by Hannah Zechariah
Hubby and I decided to go to Ikea yesterday. We needed another bookshelf in the study. He wanted to take some pictures and measurements so that we can discuss and decide later which shelf to purchase. Ikea is the choice of the day because it's cheaper than the usual teak-wood furniture I fancy.
Ikea has a certain wrought-iron daybed I have always liked. Yesterday, I wanted to get it so much. But husband was against the idea because he felt we had no need for more furniture in the house. "Besides", he said, "we came here to take measurements for the bookshelf. I suggest we stick to only that." I (still) wanted the daybed so much. I set about trying to pitch the idea to my husband.
I made an effort to convince him what an ideal lounging space it would be for him to do his daily reading. I talked non-stop for about 1/2 an hour. My daybed pitch was still going on full speed even when we stopped for coffee at Starbucks. Then as we were standing at Ikea's kitchen section, husband stopped and conveyed something that somewhat caused me to wince.
"See how you always want your way and you will never stop until you get what you want. See how you always set out trying to manipulate me even after I said no to it in the first place. See how you still have the need for more possessions even when we already have more than enough," hubby said. "And to get what you want, you always tell me how good that thing is for me," long suffering husband continued.
Yikes!! That is so true!
Many times in the past, I have repeatedly manipulated not only my husband but the people around me to do exactly what I want: I am a manipulator! Sometimes, I would take it to the extreme and say it's because the Lord wanted "it" to happen a certain way (which is MY WAY). I reflected upon the countless times I have taken the Lord's name in vain (SHAME ON ME!!).
That's how I went about purchasing an expensive house with a mortgage we could barely afford. My husband was dead against buying the house, but I managed to manipulate him into agreement with me. That was 7 years ago!
I thought I was so over being the manipulator. Actually I am SO NOT! A few situations came up last week (it's embarrassing so let's not discuss it) which made me realize I am still set in my manipulative ways. Even though I kept confessing as to how the Lord has changed me to be the submissive God-fearing wife that I should be: I STILL have not really changed.
I came to this realization while we were standing in the center of the pots and pans section at IKEA and immediately set about asking my husband for forgiveness. Gracious hubby said, "Oh I forgive you", even before I could finish my sentence. I thank the Lord for him.
With a repentant heart I made the following resolution and prayer before the Lord:
My Father in heaven, thank you for exposing my shortcomings. I am a repentant sinner. Teach me to walk the talk. Help me please for I cannot do this on my own. I succumbed to my fleshly wants and needs so many times before seeking Your will and purpose for me. I bow down humbly before You my Lord and seek Your forgiveness. I will set my eyes upon Your word, Abba Father. I want to be the kind of wife You want me to be. The kind of wife Apostle Paul wrote about in Ephesians 5:22-24.
"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Saviour of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything."
And Lord, help me submit to my husband joyfully. I don't want to struggle with this anymore. You will answer my prayer because I have the confidence that if I ask anything according to Your will, You hear me!
In Jesus' name I pray. AMEN!
